Denial, Lies, The Truth is Out There

Most of us grew up listening to the myths, truths, half truths, stories, secrets, and just plain lies about who, what, are ancestors were.  Passed down to each generation like a game of “Operator” or “Telephone”.  The original or actual event is now obscured through time, but nevertheless, the story lives on.  Each family or cousin retains a snippet or their version of events.  With each story telling the errors abound, throw in a little sabotage and there you have it, family tales of yesteryear.

My family is no exception to the most common tales, you know the ones.  Great Great Grandma was Cherokee, we were Jewish once, we related to the Salem Witches.  Sorry cousins, it is “No” to all of the above.  These stories have been in my family since our arrival in the 1600’s.  Some have “dot’s” that could be connected, however, truth, records, and DNA erases the lines.  I accept these stories just as I was enthralled with every Nancy Drew mystery I devoured in my youth.  That is why genealogy has captivated me for the past 30 years.

As some of my family history stories are hundreds of years old, it is the 20th century ones that annoy me.  Those little lies that some family members believe to be true and not even the truth can persuade them to see the light.  I am also upset with my self that as analytical as I think I am, I didn’t question the truth.  Unfortunately, I cannot ask those who have passed on for clarification of the tall tales they told.  I also find it interesting that some of the secrets were so freely conveyed, and other secrets were riddle with false events to hide the shame.

I am descended from Samuel House (Howes) who emigrated from England in 1638.  Samuel House was the brother-in-law to John Lathrop (Lothrop) who founded Barnstable, Massachusetts.  A few miles away in Yarmouth, MA, an unrelated Thomas Howes was settling the new town of Dennis.  When my grandmother was doing genealogy, she was contacted by a descendant of Thomas Howes.  The researcher started with claim that all Howes/House were descended from Thomas and Mary Howes.  Which my grandmother stood fast too.  Not so fast, grandma.  Your granddaughter connected the dots and we from Samuel Howes. My grandmother would be so fascinated with the technology and records available now.

However, we I relayed this information to my “family”.  Some members were in DENIAL.  Oh no, they said, we want to be descended from Thomas Howes.  Are you kidding me?  It sounds better they said. Their “proof” is that Grandma got a letter from some person back in the 1960’s saying he was conducting research, could she provide her family info so he can add her to the tree.  Can I do a DiNozzo head slap to my cousin?

The story goes my Great Uncle dropped dead of a heart attack as he was leaving for work one day. That was the story in my house. However, in my cousins house, they had a different story. Their story was that, the Great Uncle, was shot while driving his taxi cab.  The only kernel of truth in those stories is that my uncle did drive a taxi.  He died of another disease that is clearly stated on his death certificate. But that family will not accept the truth, they are convinced their story is correct and continue to promote false information down the line.

There are more lies beneath the tree and the truths will be revealed.

 

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